Ten Reasons Not To Leave Navan

3 May

For anyone considering emigration, along with family and friends, there are a few serious considerations to make before flying the nest of An Uaimh. Here are ten of them.

Chips!

1. The Valley Cafe: NO other chips, anywhere will ever taste as good as these chips. A strange place with wooden panels and Christmas music on the jukebox in July, people who didn’t grow up  in Navan just don’t get the Valley and it’s greatness. Their chicken kebabs are the cure for a Sunday morning post-mass hangover fast food binge.

2. The Ramparts: No-one ever died of boredom in Navan with the Ramparts at hand like a magical mystery land of drugs, drink and sex.  A 24 hour facility, walking around the muddy footpaths with a can  is a standard coming of age ritual for Navan’s teenagers. The carpark is also a well-known dogging spot.
3. The Shopping Centre – Laps Of : Ok, so it’s never as good as lunch time in school, when you’d mosey around keeping an eye out for whatever guy/girl you were on the text with at the time, but it’s still a perfectly acceptable Saturday afternoon activity. With emigration blighting the town, Christmas time is the only time you can eye up who you may shift in the Palace on Stephen’s Night.


Solar nightclub were forerunners in Social Media strategy

Solar nightclub were forerunners in Social Media strategy

4.The Solar: Declined in both music and clientele in recent years, the Solar is the eponymous representation of Navan nightlife for many, although now the fallen woman of Navan social life.
With a sealed garage as a smoking area many Navanites started their nightclub careers down in the belly of the Newgrange Hotel.

5. The Bull: It’s always good to include modern progressions with nostalgic remembrance, and the bull on Market Square is representative of how Navan moves forward whilst staying the same.

A brand new statue to remember Navan’s role as an economic and agricultural hotspot in the 19th and 20th centuries, a quick drive up Timmons’ Hill and there’s the bullock’s bollox.

6. Smyths on The Square: Despite the additions of The Jukebox, the spirit of day time drinking continues to be enshrined in the ivy choked beer garden on a sunny afternoon.

Sit inside and you risk feeling like you’ve entered the watchman’s bar on the Titanic, but the general trinketry, mugs and saddles etc also hint at the town’s agricultural heritage. Most 23 year olds have been patronizing this establishment for at least  eight years. Beware Willie’s wrath.

 7Xtra-Vision Alley, Sanjee’s Lane, The Kings Belly, Rugby Club Lane, Paddy O’Brien Street: The literary capability and wit of the townspeople is visible with the unusual and imaginatively named streets, lanes and geographical absurdities.

 8. The China Garden: Be it a quick lunchtime Sun Supper (chips, peas, rice, onions and curry for non-natives) or a sit down at the linen table cloths upstairs for Granny’s birthday, it’s great to have a decent chinese restaurant in the town, and 23938 is a number that most of us instinctively associate with hammering out on a Saturday night, trying to beat the engaged tone.

9. The Maze: Ok, it’s been a long time gone at this stage, and this writer should probably give up and move on, but the maze was the highlight of many child’s Saturday afternoon, as they broke in their new runners from Jacksie Kiernans.

Roll in with the multicolored child repository that was the Giraffe Centre and you have 80% of the average 20-somethings childhood in Navan

10.  The Fairgreen: Means so much, to so many. Fridays spell traffic chaos as all cars are banned and the stalls selling geraniums, knocked off make-up and questionable toys arrive.

For one weekend every March, the Fairgreen turns into a paradise of rusty screws, candy floss and 14 year olds with nagging on the Waltzers. Also noted by many male residents for the highly skilled Eastern European barberesses.

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21 Responses to “Ten Reasons Not To Leave Navan”

  1. pamorourke May 3, 2012 at 11:28 am #

    Love it!!

    • Fagan's Furniture May 8, 2012 at 4:58 pm #

      In a nutshell!!!!! , Caesars , getting the bus to the Oasis outside Equis at the shopping centre and hoping for the best when you got back to navan that Murphys’ taxis’ down on Bridge st didn’t have 59 people ahead of you to go home . The Blue cafe down the steps in the good old share 1 ciggie between 3 people days. Gawd there’s loads ……

  2. Barry Scullion May 3, 2012 at 2:54 pm #

    Some good observations brings back memories!

  3. Paula May 3, 2012 at 4:39 pm #

    Makes me feel homesick and old all in one. Love it

  4. kyler May 3, 2012 at 5:24 pm #

    Dont forget the railway line ha

  5. purepix May 3, 2012 at 5:59 pm #

    I’ve been gone for years, but love going back (especially to the China Garden)

  6. Pat Fay May 3, 2012 at 6:07 pm #

    Lovin it…except for the references to Chrissie Weldon….not that she will read it…but hey, that’s really below the belt and very distasteful…even in fun….she is/was/wll be gone one of these days…not a very kind way to remember her…just sayin…..but the rest spot on….

  7. Michael Lynch May 3, 2012 at 7:00 pm #

    Shopping centre too expensive for parking driving people away even charge on sunday when no other place charges

  8. Karen Byrne May 3, 2012 at 7:52 pm #

    Haven’t lived in Navan in years but this has brought back so many memories:). Thanks!

  9. Karl Gallagher May 3, 2012 at 7:56 pm #

    Under the fair green the nights that sam maguire came home were unforgetable. It was only the 4 times in my life but thats 1 more time that the Dubs have won in the same time period

  10. GOODTIMES May 3, 2012 at 9:02 pm #

    MISS THE CRAIC ON A SCHOOL DAY DOWN RAILWAY LINE FROM CHADWIKS TO LORETTO SCHOOL WITH ODD NAGGIN OF UN GASSED GUINESS AQUIRED FROM A KEG FOUND THE NITE BEFORE BACK IN LATE EIGHTIES OR THE MIGHTY CRAIC IN CAESERS BAR WITH BEST BUDDIES EVER ON A SATRDAY AFTERNOON TIL SUNDAY MORN

  11. angela gaffney May 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm #

    jesus thats a trip down memory lane ….add diamounds and spiders and ill feel old …

  12. Sharon O'Farrell May 3, 2012 at 9:55 pm #

    Feck New York, I’m coming home to Naaaaavan 🙂

  13. claudie May 4, 2012 at 12:07 am #

    Bring back the maze!!

  14. printer barcode May 4, 2012 at 4:23 am #

    So delicious! Love it very much :*

  15. gerry dunphy May 4, 2012 at 10:33 am #

    Brillant navan in a nut shell very nostalgic only emigrated from the area in the last 4months

  16. Paul May 4, 2012 at 1:48 pm #

    Feck New York

  17. Rosemary Shiels May 4, 2012 at 2:29 pm #

    Fantastic….I am gone from Naaaavvvvaaannn 17 years and this brought back some serious memories, thank you!

  18. Catherine May 5, 2012 at 3:31 am #

    Cornfields…

    • Breagadoir May 5, 2012 at 11:42 am #

      All we outsiders know about are the wedding receptions at the Ardboyne!

  19. Breagadoir May 5, 2012 at 11:43 am #

    Oh and … “only an hour from Dublin”.

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